I would like to relate an experience which was a suggestion from the adoption agency that my wife and I did not like.
After receiving our first biracial child it was suggested to us by the adoption agency that we join a group of persons in Utah Valley who also adopted African American children. The purpose of the group was to allow children to mingle with other families of white parents so they could see that there were others like them with whom they could socialize.
My wife and I have the philosophy that if we can't love those we bring in our home to raise, be they multi-headed, green skinned, or lacking intelligence, then we as parents don't deserve to have them. Therefore, we were not going to join some group that had as its mission to point out that other people had seeming differences which would make life difficult for them, and that they needed special treatment to make it.
Why would we want to start out with marks against us by having kids believe that they had to be treated special because of there skin color? To us they are special because they are human beings and that alone gives them entitlement to our love and protection. Our "White" child does not get special privileges for being "White!"
Our children are our children and we treat each one with love and respect. We are aware of each ones dreams, special interests and desires, and we try our best to see that they come true through hard work and individual effort with heaps of parental support.
Sam wants to be a Pediatrician and a Musician
Andelin wants to be a nurse
Michael wants to be an astronaut
Nicholas wants to be in the Navy (Not Dad's wish. Dad thinks he has the aptitude to be a mechanical engineer)
Unbelievable. You didn't comment on the project or whether you liked the survey or not but felt the need to share your "wisdom" so I'll respond in kind. It's amazing that some white people know what it means to be Black and can make decisions that will have serious consequences on the the adopted child's life based on that white "intelligence." What do you think you are saying about the Black child you adopted when you compare him/her to a multiheaded, green-skinned, lower non-intelligent "person"? Is is possible that in making your point you might have considered examples of differences that are viewed as positive rather than negative? Do you really think you are so perfect as a parent that you can learn nothing from the experiences of others?
If you really think your Black children will have the same experience as your white child/children you will someday have some rude awakenings? Hopefully not so serious that your children can't recover. You might want to do a little reading about Black and mixed race adults who were raised by white parents with attitudes and beliefs like yours. Why wouldn't you want your Black children be given the opportunities to interact with others like them? What are you afraid they might learn?
I have a 32 year old Black son who pulled from a car, thrown to the ground and almost shot by cops when he and his friends made the "mistake" of being seen driving through a white neighborhood after a car had been burglarized. The cops provided a description of my son and his friends to the complaintant so they could arrest the "right Black guys" rather than asking the complaintant to provide the description. My son had a high school counselor who told him not to apply to top state colleges because he would not have a successful experience. He was in fact accepted into one of them and now has a PhD. These are just two of the many experience that both of our Black children have faced that make it clear there are different standards, rules, treatments for Black and white.
I expect you believe that doesn't really happen or its only an isolated situation or there were other explanations. And if it happens to your kids, be prepared to explain to them why it had nothing to do with their race. At the same time, justify to them that your white child doesn't get special treatment because he/she is white. Which world do you live in? I'm certain your white skin has never gotten you any special privileges--keep the dream alive. Please print your comments you made on this website and keep them for your Black kids to read so they know exactly how you feel about them. They may tell you why you are so very very wrong sometime in the future. I hope you change your views before it is too late for your adopted children.
John Nichols- Only a White person growing up and living with the privilege of being White in America has the privilege to choose to ignore race! Your Black children do not have such privilege. Your racism runs much deeper than you realize. You need to examine your heart.
Comments
I would like to relate an
I would like to relate an experience which was a suggestion from the adoption agency that my wife and I did not like.
After receiving our first biracial child it was suggested to us by the adoption agency that we join a group of persons in Utah Valley who also adopted African American children. The purpose of the group was to allow children to mingle with other families of white parents so they could see that there were others like them with whom they could socialize.
My wife and I have the philosophy that if we can't love those we bring in our home to raise, be they multi-headed, green skinned, or lacking intelligence, then we as parents don't deserve to have them. Therefore, we were not going to join some group that had as its mission to point out that other people had seeming differences which would make life difficult for them, and that they needed special treatment to make it.
Why would we want to start out with marks against us by having kids believe that they had to be treated special because of there skin color? To us they are special because they are human beings and that alone gives them entitlement to our love and protection. Our "White" child does not get special privileges for being "White!"
Our children are our children and we treat each one with love and respect. We are aware of each ones dreams, special interests and desires, and we try our best to see that they come true through hard work and individual effort with heaps of parental support.
Sam wants to be a Pediatrician and a Musician
Andelin wants to be a nurse
Michael wants to be an astronaut
Nicholas wants to be in the Navy (Not Dad's wish. Dad thinks he has the aptitude to be a mechanical engineer)
response to John Nicholes
Unbelievable. You didn't comment on the project or whether you liked the survey or not but felt the need to share your "wisdom" so I'll respond in kind. It's amazing that some white people know what it means to be Black and can make decisions that will have serious consequences on the the adopted child's life based on that white "intelligence." What do you think you are saying about the Black child you adopted when you compare him/her to a multiheaded, green-skinned, lower non-intelligent "person"? Is is possible that in making your point you might have considered examples of differences that are viewed as positive rather than negative? Do you really think you are so perfect as a parent that you can learn nothing from the experiences of others?
If you really think your Black children will have the same experience as your white child/children you will someday have some rude awakenings? Hopefully not so serious that your children can't recover. You might want to do a little reading about Black and mixed race adults who were raised by white parents with attitudes and beliefs like yours. Why wouldn't you want your Black children be given the opportunities to interact with others like them? What are you afraid they might learn?
I have a 32 year old Black son who pulled from a car, thrown to the ground and almost shot by cops when he and his friends made the "mistake" of being seen driving through a white neighborhood after a car had been burglarized. The cops provided a description of my son and his friends to the complaintant so they could arrest the "right Black guys" rather than asking the complaintant to provide the description. My son had a high school counselor who told him not to apply to top state colleges because he would not have a successful experience. He was in fact accepted into one of them and now has a PhD. These are just two of the many experience that both of our Black children have faced that make it clear there are different standards, rules, treatments for Black and white.
I expect you believe that doesn't really happen or its only an isolated situation or there were other explanations. And if it happens to your kids, be prepared to explain to them why it had nothing to do with their race. At the same time, justify to them that your white child doesn't get special treatment because he/she is white. Which world do you live in? I'm certain your white skin has never gotten you any special privileges--keep the dream alive. Please print your comments you made on this website and keep them for your Black kids to read so they know exactly how you feel about them. They may tell you why you are so very very wrong sometime in the future. I hope you change your views before it is too late for your adopted children.
John Nichols- Only a White
John Nichols- Only a White person growing up and living with the privilege of being White in America has the privilege to choose to ignore race! Your Black children do not have such privilege. Your racism runs much deeper than you realize. You need to examine your heart.